Maybe just providing this article and offering free advice is a good start toward earning your trust. Or perhaps you need many unobtrusive interactions with me in order for me to meet the requisite.
So, how quickly does someone gain your trust? Think about it. I bet your answer is…..”It depends, Coty.”
Well, I think that’s the case for all of us.
The reality is – how fast someone gains our trust depends on many factors. For some, there are more conditions than others. That means that as business owners, salespeople, leaders, individuals, prospective partners, and even prospective friends, we need to work through potential requirements in order to meet the needs of the other person if we want them to trust us and ultimately be influential in their lives.
Wouldn’t it be great to know what those trust requisites are so that you could become more influential more quickly?
Honestly, without being a trained psychologist or behavioral expert, that can be a challenge! But thankfully, with certain personality assessments we are provided insight on what makes a person tick, including how to receive trust. It’s like having a cheat sheet!
I’m a certified practitioner for one of the assessment companies and we use four colors as our ‘cheat sheet’. The colors are red, yellow, blue and green. Respectively the rudimentary characteristics are: Be succinct, Be Inclusive, Provide Information, and Provide Specifics.
Case in Point
Not long ago I attended a retreat of a speaker colleague. After sitting through the first half of her presentation, I suggested that she design a device for her program that she could sell as a supplemental product. The idea was that it serve as a meditation aide to help people relax. She thought it was a great idea and said she’d talk with the engineer with whom she was already working on another device. After more discussion, she said she thought that they might even be able to marry the two device designs together to be multi-functional.
So after her presentation was over, we both went up to talk to the engineer. My speaker colleague began the conversation by talking about how they needed the device to able to better meet the needs of the people and instead of making two devices they could only make one, and other rhetoric of the like.
This was not resonating with him at all! I actually saw his demeanor change from jovial to resistant in both his non-verbal and verbal language. He was not trusting of this idea yet because she wasn’t giving him the information in a way that made sense to him. So he was reluctant to commit to it. He understood the basic concept, but wasn’t sure about why they should do it because she hadn’t provided him with the specifics of what it would take to make the device and specifically why that would make sense. He was an engineer. He was a guy who needed specific details about the why, when, what, and how. Engineers are typically very analytical and in order to get them on board for what you are requesting, they will want information given to them in a way that they can process. So a more organized formatting of the way we speak and write, not going off on tangents, line-items in a list or table format, and validated data or research are all things that will influence them more because it’s in a format that they prefer and can process more easily.
It may be worth mentioning that I previously worked as a research scientist for 11 years at a biomedical device design company working predominantly with engineers. So, after seeing her failed attempt, I jumped into the conversation and began giving him specific details about what the device would do and how I envisioned it working and my thoughts about what I thought could work from a design standpoint. I was giving him information that was relevant to him and how he could do it vs. what it was going to do for other people.
All of a sudden, his attitude began to change and he was much more receptive to the idea.
Summing it up
I had just met this guy that day and was able to influence him and gain his trust more quickly on that idea vs. that of my colleague, who had known him for years. I’m absolutely not saying that to toot my own horn. I’m simply proclaiming, that when we can speak in a way that resonates with the other person vs. speaking in the way we want something stated, then we will increase our ability to gain that person’s trust and ultimately our influence on them.